25 pieces & the search for enough

I read this morning about a woman who narrowed her wardrobe to 25 pieces – things she wore the most, anyway, so she decided to make the commitment and give the rest away. I looked at the picture list of what she owns, intrigued by minimalist methods, and thought: No wonder she could make that choice – look at those clothes! In my mind, they're each timeless / classic / never-go-out-of-style pieces that mix cozy and stylish. All the colors go together, so she has endless pairing possibilities. Maybe I'll go buy those 25 pieces and I'll be happy with my life.

The time of my life was the summer we hiked the JMT and climbed Longs Peak, when I wore the same two outfits for 2.5 months: one for hiking, camping, climbing and one for visiting friends across the U.S. I loved the simplicity and the comfort.

But reading about this woman, I have my doubts. And, naturally, those doubts have stewed all morning. What would I need in my closet to feel like it's enough? It's not a random thought. I had several frustrating mornings this week trying to decide what to wear. And a day last week when I changed over lunch because I decided what I'd chosen for work was a mistake. The timing bothers me because I just added clothes to my closet in December, thanks to a few gifts and a shopping trip in a friend's closet. You'd think I should see endless possibilities.

Perhaps it's true – too many choices ruins your life. Fear of missing out. If I choose the same sweater twice in the same week, people will notice. It's as if they stood in my closet with me and saw all the possibilities and wonder how I could end up in the same tired outfit. (We all can agree that's absurd.)

Psychology probably explains it. Decision fatigue impedes my ability to feel satisfied with whatever I wear. But it isn't just clothes. It includes the food I eat, the way I spend my money, how I fill my time. So really the question I've pondered all morning is the same I've pondered all week: How does it change my perspective when I believe what I have is enough. No matter what it is or how many. Adding or subtracting won't change anything because it's an internal choice to be satisfied.

I feel the difference when I say I want nothing like I'm trying to convince myself, laying on guilt with, 'Geez, are you really so unsatisfied?' Lately, I've remembered that more isn't better – different isn't better. Real is better. Spending the day doing things that I enjoy: being alone & quiet, reading, cooking for others, writing, working, running, yoga, keeping up with my people – feeling content, which leads to feeling creative and free. I start my day knowing it is unlikely to progress as planned, but what happens is enough for me.

I am not what I wear, but my closet – my choices – they all reveal the level of satisfaction and respect I have for life. That's why I try to avoid random trends, I don't often buy new, and I don't follow impulses. I was reading this week about forward motion in faith. Adding self-control and godliness to virtue isn't the way to redemption (which comes before & without work), but it is a sign of it. Patience and serenity make up my progress list right now. I want the kind of stillness in my soul that feels as weightless as it sounds but is neither weak nor fragile. The kind of steadfastness contained in knowledge of God, who gives and never runs out and promises to provide for me even more than the birds or flowers.

And I guess today that feels like finding all the places I hide my worries – my closet, my pantry, my budget sheet – and embracing the answer I get when I ask How much is enough?


*The photo is completely unrelated. I found it on my computer recently and I just love it. I don't know why. I miss my camera.